Saturday, May 3, 2008

My War on Alcopops

Shhhhhhhh, be vewwwy, vewwwy quiet; I'm hunting bwinge dwinkers, heheheheheheh

I know Australia was unsure if I had it in me. Mr. Popularity, they said, couldn’t make a hard decision they said – well I showed them again.

I acted swiftly and decisively and have again rescued Australia from the brink.
My tax increase on Alcopops came from the same place as a Barry Hall haymaker. No one saw it coming.
Poor Therese had to race the Prius down to Dan Murphy’s in her bright red, satin dressing gown and clear out all their remaining Pineapple Breezers late on Saturday night.

My personal experience of binge drinking is hazy, I didn’t touch the girls, but surely this swift move has brought an unsavoury chapter of Australian teen life to an end.

I’ve transformed from Kevin 07 -shallow populist to Elmer Rudd – hunter and man of steel.
I’m hunting Alco pops.

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