Saturday, February 14, 2009

My pokies revolution approved

It's clear now, we have 2 parties on different paths. Malcolm Turnbull stood in the way of my big handout and the seven day delay will probably result in Australia moving in to its worst recession ever!

My $42 billion War on Insulation, Pokies Revolution and Spend whatever it takes on education to prove I actually had a plan for an 'Education Revolution' will surely send generations of future Australian's in to long term debt and poverty......but at least they'll have been poorly educated in newly built schools!

Just remember who gave the punters $900 and insulated their homes from the weather -but not declining values when the next election rolls around.

Good old Uncle Kev!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Saving the world, it's all in a week's work

After writing the essay that will save the world from Neo Liberal vandals I moved quickly to save a pensioner who collapsed in Church. I did my best, personally carrying this beast of man on my shoulders out of my Church while applying CPR and giving him a $900 bonus.

After helping this poor wretch I then ran home in 40 degree heat and commenced work 24/7 on the $42 billion package to save Australia.

In a time when interest rates are collapsing, petrol prices have fallen and inflation has come down I've given the battlers another pokies handout. I figure they can now play the $2 machines and buy full strength beer given the money that's been freed up lately and this bonus.

Screw the recent unemployed, most of them are Neo Liberal Bankers anyway and screw anyone earning over $100,000 per year. I'd rather give drinking and gambling money to the punters.

My education revolution is back on track thanks to sending Australia $20 billion in debt and my bonus for household insulation will surely offset the hot air coming after I rolled on carbon trading!

Got it covered, I am legend!