Thursday, February 4, 2016

What the world needs now is Rudd, sweet Rudd!

I'm back, boy am I back!

The rumours are true, the world wants Kevin to save it. Ban Ki is old news, I for one am over the moon. I've got the numbers to roll him and take over as official Head of the World. Everyone reports to me!

I'll fix about No, Kim Jong un.
Get rid of your frickin islands Xi Jinping or we'll melt them with hot magma.
Leave now President Assad or you'll get a shark with big friggin laser beam up your arse.

Then we'll spend ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS on school halls.

Gotta Zip

When I ruled the world 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Don't worry I'll be a loyal little backbencher, again

I saved the Party, if not for me we'd be smaller than the Australian Motoring Enthusiast party.

I've done my job, ditched the witch and saved the furniture. Six years in Opposition gives me time to build my momentum. Ease back in with Kochie, a couple of Project appearances, I may even twerk. Do a backflip on some emerging policy idea, get the kids screaming again, then fire up Twitter with a couple of selfies.

Australia then gets back on the Ruddster, over the top I come and can you believe it, PM for the third time!

If all else fails I'll back door Ban-ki and take over the UN or possibly re write the bible and add that bit about slavery in.

Gotta Zip

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Quick Australia Last chance for a Selfie

I've got an extra large battery strapped on my iphone and I'm off - 3 days of back to back Selfie sessions. By Saturday more Australians will have a KRudd selfie than have NBN connections!

You love me, I just wish you were old enough to vote...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I can even spin the Bible now!

I let them have it on Q&A last night. My recent conversion to Gay marriage had me at the throat of that Christian ratbag.

Fair shake of the sauce bottle - I'm a bigger gay icon than Kylie. I'm gonna wax my ass, slap on the chaps and lead Mardi Gras next year!

The Bible says Slavery is a natural condition, the only natural condition I subscribe to is me in charge......Take that Jesus and your Bible!

I believe people are born gay, just like I was born full of spin. It's not my fault, its genetic. Like my deficit, my lying and my temper - all genetic and definately not my fault.

Thought Bubble

You know what this country needs is millions of Gay Boat people to save my ass!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The black hole grows bigger and bigger and threatens a global recession

Penny and L Plate Treasurer worked through the night on our excel spreadsheet and found another $10 billion black hole. It was Treasury approved, they use the same excel package as we do!

Add it to the $15 trillion black hole and I've caught Tony Abbott out, aren't I clever! My speech was inspirational, Penny was serious, concerned and horrified. L plate was equally stern, pouting in disgust just like the acting teacher instructed..... and I was brilliant.