Friday, July 29, 2016

Hi I'm Kevin and I'm here to rule the world

I'm not sure why Malcolm snubbed me? I speak Chinese for god's sake.

As Albo and my cheer squad also said, "He's Australian and you always back the Aussie."

Even Backdoor Bill backflipped again and got on board. Reminded me of the good old days, Albo, Chris and Tanya kissing my ass with Bill lurking in the background.

One of the saddest days in global history is how it's been described (by me)

Thursday, February 4, 2016

What the world needs now is Rudd, sweet Rudd!

I'm back, boy am I back!

The rumours are true, the world wants Kevin to save it. Ban Ki is old news, I for one am over the moon. I've got the numbers to roll him and take over as official Head of the World. Everyone reports to me!

I'll fix about No, Kim Jong un.
Get rid of your frickin islands Xi Jinping or we'll melt them with hot magma.
Leave now President Assad or you'll get a shark with big friggin laser beam up your arse.

Then we'll spend ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS on school halls.

Gotta Zip

When I ruled the world 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Don't worry I'll be a loyal little backbencher, again

I saved the Party, if not for me we'd be smaller than the Australian Motoring Enthusiast party.

I've done my job, ditched the witch and saved the furniture. Six years in Opposition gives me time to build my momentum. Ease back in with Kochie, a couple of Project appearances, I may even twerk. Do a backflip on some emerging policy idea, get the kids screaming again, then fire up Twitter with a couple of selfies.

Australia then gets back on the Ruddster, over the top I come and can you believe it, PM for the third time!

If all else fails I'll back door Ban-ki and take over the UN or possibly re write the bible and add that bit about slavery in.

Gotta Zip

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Quick Australia Last chance for a Selfie

I've got an extra large battery strapped on my iphone and I'm off - 3 days of back to back Selfie sessions. By Saturday more Australians will have a KRudd selfie than have NBN connections!

You love me, I just wish you were old enough to vote...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I can even spin the Bible now!

I let them have it on Q&A last night. My recent conversion to Gay marriage had me at the throat of that Christian ratbag.

Fair shake of the sauce bottle - I'm a bigger gay icon than Kylie. I'm gonna wax my ass, slap on the chaps and lead Mardi Gras next year!

The Bible says Slavery is a natural condition, the only natural condition I subscribe to is me in charge......Take that Jesus and your Bible!

I believe people are born gay, just like I was born full of spin. It's not my fault, its genetic. Like my deficit, my lying and my temper - all genetic and definately not my fault.

Thought Bubble

You know what this country needs is millions of Gay Boat people to save my ass!