I'm over the line - I'm Gay marriage's biggest fan

Any opportunity to appear relevant and I'm all in. I've turned and look out Australia, Kevin loves Gay marriage. I know it rules out my run for Pope but it firms up my run for Labor leader next year.

My new hit single

I'm a man of my word

I was never ever, ever going to challenge today. I’m the PM’s human shield – no way Jose, fair shake of the sauce bottle, Mr K Rudd won’t break his promise. I’m a man of principle.

Joel keeps pestering me all the time ...”C’mon Kevin reclaim the throne and give me a plum job”, he was at it again today. Then Simon resigns to join Club Rudd. “Please Kevin, save the country, save me, save us all from Julia”.

Frankly it’s tough having such adulation dumped on you, but I’m a man of my word, my moral compass will never point south.

But for 5 or so votes and those 2 idiots not in town I’d have been dragged kicking and screaming in to the PM’s role and talked very softly and with great humility about how I never sought it, but a greater calling forced my hand.... and I’d wish Julia and Tim all the best in the new Salon in Altona. Bugger!  

 

Pipped for the pope - I might need a new gig!

After the first puff of grey smoke I contacted the conclave and offered to break the deadlock. Not to be, although my sources say it went down to the wire. He even looks like me, I'm flattered.

Therese was surprisingly happy with the whole celibacy thing, but Pope Kevin's day may come next time.

Well, I'm again a Great World Leader without any World to lead, surely this can't go on for ever?

The passing of a great Australian - Sam the Koala

Australia mourns the loss of Sam the Koala today, a truly great Australian and great mate of mine.

It's no secret that the ALP had approached Sam to run as our high profile celebrity candidate against that cad Malcolm Turnbull in Wentworth. After spending some time talking through my policies, I believed Sam to be a more informed candidate than either Maxine McKew or Peter Garrett. She was passionate about our building an Education Revolution scheme and indicated that even Australia's Koalas had benefited from the stimulus package.

Sam was the ultimate victim of Climate Change, incinerated by Malcolm Turnbull's lack of policy on a Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. Just as Turnbull is personally destroying the Barrier Reef and Kakadu, he has barbequed this great Australian.

I plan a state funeral and photo opportunity shortly.

What price Pink batts and a School hall?

Told you I was World Leader! I've managed to blow the family inheritance and what have I got to show for it - POPULARITY - and that's all that counts!