Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's my Party

Given my adoring public elected Kevin 07, not the Labor Party, I feel it my duty to give them nothing more than what they voted for.

I've already ordered my underlings to visit Schools and the Homeless before they come to Moi! They will then be asked to get me tea and an earwax sandwich for lunch.

I don't intend to appoint Minister's just assistants. Julia is the Assistant to Kevin for Industrial Relations, Swanny Assistant to Kevin for Treasury and so on.
I intend to run Australia as my little project, given I have intellectual capacity unheard of in the Labor Party, an education!

Strap yourselves in Australia, the Education Revolution is underway, shortly followed by the Industrial Relations and Climate change Revolutions. Compliments of Kevin Ruddrless PM.

Monday, November 19, 2007

If only 15 year old schoolgirls could vote?

I'm not letting it get to my head, BUT, another day of screaming schoolgirls in the outer suburbs of somewhere.

They can't get enough of the Ruddster, one even fainted this time! I have to look in the mirror - I know I'm a run away winner in the "I'm too sexy for PM" stakes. Then again it's like comparing Kim Beasley to Ben Cousins.

I haven't been this popular with schoolgirls since Miss Spencer at Eumundi Primary made me waterboy for the girls netball team on a 40 degree day. Unfortunately I wasn't good enough to get a game.

Who would have thought, Kevin 07 popular with the ladies?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Has anyone seen my Education Revolution?

Fair dinkum Australia, I've been prattling on about this Education Revolution for so long I've actually forgotten what it is.

I think we announced a 0.02% increase in Education funding a month ago, but bugger me if I can remember anything else.

As the polls overwhelmingly demonstrate Australian's couldn't care what I say, all I've got to do is turn up to get their collective worms wobbling.

Anyway, The Education Revolution is an unstoppable force now, if only I knew what it was?

See you in the lodge KEVIN07

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Rainfall will always be higher under Labor

Today I announce that Labor, via its new Minister for Rain, former ABC weatherman Mike Bailey, will commit to greater rainfall under a Kevin07 Labor government, should we climb Mount Everest and win the Election.

On Friday Mr Bailey rang the Kevin 07 hotline and told me he would get rain for Southern Australia this weekend to help launch our policy.

In one of our more credible policy announcements, Labor will guarantee higher rainfall than under the Coalition during the next term of Parliament.

Me Too that Mr. Howard.

So I'm a fraud, The Australian people still love me

We may not be original but who cares as long as we win the prize....then we'll release our own tunes and no one will buy that!