Saturday, January 31, 2009

Only Barak and I can save the Free World

My essay on rescuing the World from Neo-Liberal, cannibalistic capitalists and restoring a new world order provides a blueprint for the World to follow.

The greatest economic failure in 75 years has allowed the greatest political blowhard in 75 years to draw on my years of experience as a China trade Consultant to map a path that will lead to global prosperity.

Cometh the hour cometh the Kevin!

My greatest challenge was holding my thoughts on the new world order to just 7000 words.

Barak, the balls in your court mate, I have provided the vision and between the world’s 2 pre eminent leaders, you and I – yes we can!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Bloody Economy - Ruined a good trip

I don't know how I'll cope. Three straight months in this country, I'll go stir crazy.
Me staying in Australia 3 months - I know how David Hicks felt in Guantanamo.

My overseas trips are my release, a bit of duty free shopping, I get my RAAF points transfered back to Qantas, catch up with a few World Leaders and tell them how wonderful I am, lobby for the UN Secretary General role, Therese gets to parade those taffetta frocks and everyone's happy.

This global financial crisis is starting to really upset me, I had to cancel my trip to Davos. I wanted to go, let Julia deal with it I say. My agenda is global - I can save the World.

I'm staying but I'm not happy. I'll sack Swan and Tanner if they don't fix this - I'm keynote speaker at the Congress of Third World Emerging nations against Global Warming Conference in Cairo in the 4 months!

Friday, January 2, 2009

What a year....I've changed Australia for ever

As I hung up the phone from talking with my 50th World Leader on New Years Eve I took time to reflect on the profound changes I've already made to Australia. I consider my "Kevin Revolution" one of the world's most significant.

Therese even gave me a set of Che Guevara pyjamas for Chrissy to recognise what I've done.

Fair Dinkum, we've had more lame revolutions here in the past 12 months that a broken down Victa lawnmower.

I've solved the Aboriginal problem, the Global Fiancial Crisis and Global Warming. I've made more phone calls than a Mumbai call centre operator and flown more air miles than the space shuttle!

Bring on 2009.