Monday, July 30, 2007

Call me a Doctor, or maybe a hypocrite

I must say I feel let down by the government. I backed John Howard all the way on this Haneef terrorism charge. I feel let down; it’s almost cost me my electoral credibility.

I was prepared to stick my neck out and back the PM. This Haneef fella looked like a terrorist. He’s Muslim, has a beard, his cousin’s have tried to blow up Britain and he loaned his sim card to a relative. Open and shut case the polls said, back the PM or risk being left behind in the polls my advisors said.

I sensed public opinion shifting, Peter Bleattie rightly expressed his outrage that he hadn’t been lead story on the Brisbane news for week and the public seemed to smell a rat. How dare the PM compromise my election chances, serves me right for having a view on anything!

Call it spineless, call it weak, call it repositioning myself with my adoring public and showing electoral flexibility – as long as I pick up votes.

I am outraged that this poor little Indian Doctor has been victimised by the Keystone Cops. Indian Doctor’s have done so much for Queensland, just because he’s from a family of terrorists, it’s no reason to lock the guy up.

Nothing short of Judicial inquiry or maybe a Summit will fix this. Just shows you, you can’t trust this PM.

Gotta run.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

No one bleats like Peter

My fellow Queenslander and great bloke, Peter Bleattie is his own man. Sure we both have that sanctimonious tone in our voice, we may buy our Teflon suits from the same tailor, have the same camera shy media reclusive style and have the same school boy hairstyle, but Peter doesn’t speak for me.

My support of John Howard is clear cut, I love his policies on Terrorism, Aborigines, Logging and the Murray Darling.

I’m truly unique in politics in that I can be an environmentalist who supports logging, a free market man who supports price regulation, a unionist who supports banning Trade Union leaders, a John Howard supporter and detractor, a man of action who loves consensus and a change agent who has no policies.

I'm your man.......or woman, Gotta run

Monday, July 23, 2007

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK!

You could say I'm that flexible I'm spineless but I'd prefer to say electable.

Let them log, particularly if they vote. Who cares about the environment when there are a few cheap Tasmanian votes to be had.

I always preferred that my Tassy wasn't overgrown - a bit of a trim makes it more contemporary and I'm a modern guy after all.

Gotta log off now

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Another BIG BROTHER eviction

I love my brother, we grew up in the family shoebox together in the tough old days.

You can pick your friends but you sure can't choose family! First Therese declares her love of Work Choices and her multi million dollar deals with the Liberal government, now Greg's donating to the damn Liberals.

It's time to go.....Greg. I wish Howard would hurry and call the election, the Labor Party's running out of members and Christmas Dinner's looking very frosty.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

We're the next Zimbabwe

Grocery prices are rising, Aussie battlers are spending all their income on their mortgages, workers are being treated as fairly as a Chinese Food official.....this country is an economic basket case - thank god for me!

I'm convinced that if I don't get elected this country will continue it's current economic slide and become the new Zimbabwe. My great labor mate and fellow patriot, Paul picked Mr Howard as a rampant Nationalist in the Robert Mugabe, Adolph Hitler mold. Good one Paul!

Our former Labor warriors Paul, Bob and more recently Mark have covered themselves in glory post their Leadership days. They're great examples of the selfless people dedicated to leading the Labor party with only the rights of working families in their hearts.

Gotta run

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Look out Woolies I'm after your eggs

Call me shallow, call me simplistic, call me opportunistic, but never call me definitive.

I can't believe it myself, but I've done it again.

I'm lowering grocery prices. Not by increasing competition, not by understanding supplier's issues, not by understanding how supermarkets exploit their monopolistic position, not even by understanding global supply chains......I'm going to publish Grocery prices for bread, milk and eggs on the ACCC website!

That should give the Punters the relief they need, watch prices cascade as I post the first prices at:

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

C'mon Australia, you love the Ruddster?

I said to Therese I simply can't believe today's poll. That old man almost drawing level with me as preferred PM, cannot be true!

What have I done wrong? I've told Australia I can solve every domestic problem, every global and regional issue and I've already solved the drought. My appointment of the old ABC weatherman proved an inspired choice.

Surely it's not the Aboriginals, I know.... it could be Prince William. I shouldn't have bagged him with a Channel 9 special only days later. I'll ask my Commissioner for opportunistic appointments to get me a meeting with him, hopefully he speaks Mandarin so I can finally express my linguistic prowess.

Therese has got the wobbles over this poll, she's even putting the sale of her Australian business on hold.

Gotta run

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Love thy neighbour

Hah Hah, Brendan Nelson let the cat out of the bag. It's all about Oil. Under my policy Australia will have no Energy security, it's my number 1 priority.

I'll mandate Hybrid cars for all, surely that'll fix it. Therese has already bought a dealership in anticipation.

Iraq remains our biggest foreign policy disaster since we went into Vietnam to provide security of cheap clothing and holidays.

I've always advocated the world would be a better place if everyone was like me. That's my foreign policy. If I'm elected PM of Australia I'll also become PM of "The Arc of Instability". These primates need Rudd-like values. My education revolution will sweep the region teaching these imbeciles that Australian History is far more important than any Islamic claptrap. I'll cure their health issues, solve unemployment and they can have my IR policy thrown in for free.

I'll also solve Iraq, just teach them the 3 R's (Rudd, Rudd,& more Rudd) I say.

What the world needs now, is Rudd, Sweet Rudd. Look out world here I come.
Gotta run