Watch Grocery Prices tumble

Hang on Australia, your Red Spot specials start now!

My Grocery inquiry has shown what I suspected all along. I did deceive Australian Working Families into voting for me on the false assumption I could reduce Grocery prices.

After the success of Fuel Watch and the Petrol Cop, here comes Grocery Watch. If you don't think that won't reduce Grocery prices then try Unit Pricing!

Unit pricing will be compulsory even though everyone has already said they'll do it. You'll now know all the hidden secrets of those tricky retailers.

A Variety Pack of Chips is more expensive per gram than a 2 kg bag of chips. Thank you Unit pricing. Thank you Kevin Rudd!

So buy the kids 2kgs for their lunchboxes, add to the obesity crisis....but do it with the knowledge you've saved money. (per gram anyway!)

Don't thank me now - wait until the next election!

What a weak ........

All I can say is, "You got me!" But it took you 18 months.

That talk about Grocery & Petrol prices and Australian Working Families, all those photo opportunities at kitchen tables, all those concerned grimaces – I had my fingers crossed all along.

As I said today on ABC Radio, I actually conceded once during the election when finally nailed in an interview that I was full of hot air, so did Swanny. That didn't of course stop me going to another kitchen table, having another press conference and berating John Howard about Petrol and Grocery prices again. I even continued rabbiting on about my Petrol Commissioner.

It's all your fault if you thought I was going to reduce prices – you should been listening to the ABC in August last year.

I even contradicted myself on radio this morning admitting that after all my hype about a Petrol Cop on the beat I couldn't actually reduce Fuel prices, yet I've constantly said the my petrol Cop will reduce prices.

Call me flexible rather than hypocritical, cynical and disingenuous. Read the fine print people.

My Scores lesson, 'Look but don't touch' is now policy

“Look but don’t touch four eyes” the bouncer yelled pointing at the sign.

I first learned about the ‘LOOK but don't touch’ philosophy when I was in New York. Scores had the sign hanging above the lap dancer as I lapsed into a coma after an alcopop induced binge
session. For the record I can’t remember anything else.

I’ve taken the learning of Scores into Government.

Look but don’t touch – Petrol prices, Grocery prices, Housing affordability and anything else. Inquiries, Commissioners you name it. I’ll look at everything but do nothing.

The other learning about convenient memory loss and blaming everyone else of course were well established in Opposition.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Well, I admit some of you may have voted for me thinking I was going to reduce Oil, Grocery and House prices but you should have read the fine print. You can’t hold me accountable!

What more can I do, honestly? I’ve appointed a Commissioner to look at petrol prices and an Inquiry to look at Food prices. I’m hoping my encouragement of interest rate increases and our policy of driving up unemployment will stitch up housing prices, if it doesn’t I’ll look into it.

My actual promise buried in the bravado and rhetoric was to LOOK at prices.

I’ve looked and there’s nothing I can do.

It was clearly John Howard’s fault that the global economy drove up petrol and food prices. Now of course it’s become a global issue, not mine.

I said the blame game was over, another promise you needed to read the fine print on. I’ll continue to blame John Howard and the Global Economy, not my mates in the states!

Anyway I’ve only been in charge for 6 months and despite saying on March 4th I’ll take full responsibility for the economy, read the fine print, I was only joking. It’s my wacky sense of humour surfacing again!

Look out here comes half price Vegemite

My Inquiry into Grocery prices should see the price of Vegemite cut in half so Australian Working Families can overdose on it!

It's all so simple - I announce an inquiry, the ACCC investigates and down come the prices, just like the Oil inquiry!

I'll have inflation under control in hours.

We're the next Zimbabwe

Grocery prices are rising, Aussie battlers are spending all their income on their mortgages, workers are being treated as fairly as a Chinese Food official.....this country is an economic basket case - thank god for me!

I'm convinced that if I don't get elected this country will continue it's current economic slide and become the new Zimbabwe. My great labor mate and fellow patriot, Paul picked Mr Howard as a rampant Nationalist in the Robert Mugabe, Adolph Hitler mold. Good one Paul!

Our former Labor warriors Paul, Bob and more recently Mark have covered themselves in glory post their Leadership days. They're great examples of the selfless people dedicated to leading the Labor party with only the rights of working families in their hearts.

Gotta run

Look out Woolies I'm after your eggs

Call me shallow, call me simplistic, call me opportunistic, but never call me definitive.

I can't believe it myself, but I've done it again.

I'm lowering grocery prices. Not by increasing competition, not by understanding supplier's issues, not by understanding how supermarkets exploit their monopolistic position, not even by understanding global supply chains......I'm going to publish Grocery prices for bread, milk and eggs on the ACCC website!

That should give the Punters the relief they need, watch prices cascade as I post the first prices at:
http://www.accc.gov.au/electionstunts/illconsideredplans
/prices/pricecommissioner/not_oil/grocery/eggs.html