World's climate fixed - thank you Kevin

You know me, I’m a climate change warrior.

I’d travel to any International Conference on Climate Change at a moment’s notice. Climate change and K Rudd are one – the greatest moral challenge of our time accepted by the greatest carbon warrior of our time!

No one travelled to more conferences, held more press conferences, wrote more speeches or made more outrageous claims about the impact of climate change than me. I was milking climate change before anyone else....and what did I do – I drove a Prius.

Today I wanted to announce that Climate Kevin was back, look out Carbon here I come again. I’ve scrapped the Carbon Tax and made pollution cheaper for working families, well made it appear that way.

As you know it’s not about the detail, it’s about the headline.

 

Climate fixed – the world saved and I’ve done it at Aldi prices.

Thank God for Kevin.

 

I'm Trading Carbon no matter what

I don't care what everyone else is doing. I don't even care if Global Warming is real. I'm trading carbon not matter what, because it's my one chance of getting re-elected.

Given I've not managed to save the whales, reduce petrol and grocery prices, decrease Interest Rates or kickstart an Education Skirmish, let alone a Revolution I guess soundbites, t-shirts and a slogan can only get you so far.

All I've got for the next election is Global Warming....and I'm praying it doesn't rain until the day after Election Day.

My 360 seconds of fame!

6 minutes, or 360 seconds in front of 8 of the World's most powerful people at the G8! Weren't they lucky.

Ironic isn't it, I jump on an old airforce jet spewing carbon over the Pacific as I head to Japan to speak for 360 seconds on the urgency of Climate Change?

Anyway, as the World's self proclaimed pre-eminent Mandarin Speaking Politician I had the stage I wanted and I lectured to those 8 leaders as if they were backbenchers from the Central Coast.

Why not have a Global Petrol Commissioner? Why not make Fuel Watch global? These hard decisions cost me the Gippsland by-election but I firmly believe the world will be better for them.

Ban Ki-moon rang the bell as I got started on Grocery prices, my friend George missed it all as he'd raced to the men's room. I had no idea Japanese PM Fukuda spoke English as he took his earpiece out.

I think it went well, my proposal for a RUDD9 economic group got a great reaction.

Another problem solved thanks to K-RUDD, surely a Nobel prize is on the radar.

Now Garnaut needs to decide how to Trade Belinda Neal

It's got me concerned but now I'll get Ross Garnaut to work out how we trade Belinda Neal.

Iraq needs new governors, we need a new High Commissioner to Iran, Afghanistan needs female politicians and the London Zoo needs more iguanas!

We'll take any offer, maybe the Democrats won't be lost to Federal Parliament after all.