My trip to Beijing was critical. I got some excellent photo ops with my Aussie athletes, trotted out my command of Mandarin, met my old friend George W, but most of all cemented my position as the World's pre eminent Mandarin Speaking Politician with my beloved Chinese constituency.
My old mate Hu did the honours in opening the games, I nodded away as he let fly in Mandarin, surrounded by various dignitaries. I provided real time translation - built an instant bridge between the world and China.
I sense my star is rising in China. The Chinese President now answers my phone calls with Hu not Who and I was given the rock star treatment in Beijing being mobbed by the crowds. They all wanted to sell me watches, but I know they recognise me.
By the time I'm finished with Australia I'll be torn , the first democratic leader of China or UN Secretary General? Either way the world will be a better place.