Today's Opinion polls can't be right!

I personally cannot believe the latest opinion poll. I gotta say Australia, you’ve got it wrong.

Speaking personally, I have never loved myself as much as I do now. I’m back, the people’s Prince has been resurrected.

C’mon Australia – I’m the lovable nerd, what about the zany selfies, the massive intellect, the ability to speak Chinese, the adoration of 10 year old school kids, even Peter Beattie says he loves me.

It’s not fair the Murdoch press have turned on me. I’ve given them more stories than any MP in the past 7 years. I’ve still got the ABC & Fairfax onside, but I’m lobbying Ten to bring back ROVE for a month.

Australia, I’ll get really angry – just like the video, if you don’t show you love me by voting me back as PM. Fair shake of the Sauce bottle! Get it right. Gotta zip (see, I’m a funny guy).

C'mon Mr. Prime Minister commit to a full term and stop acting like a Labor leader

The hypocrisy of my recent call for the PM to commit to staying a full term or stand accused of misleading the Australian people wasn't lost on me as Peter Beattie resigned mid term following another Labor beauty Steve Bracks.
Hey - I'm a lap dancing christian, tea-totling binge drinking, memory faded intellectual hypocrite but Australia still loves me even more each day. Why raise Human rights issues with China when it might endanger my tickets to the Olympics, why upset my mate George W with talk of Global warming? There were no cameras there anyway.

If I'm asked by Laurie I'll give my standard reply "I'm sorry I don't recall what was said".

I ask myself, does Australia love Kevin Rudd? You bet she does.

No one bleats like Peter

My fellow Queenslander and great bloke, Peter Bleattie is his own man. Sure we both have that sanctimonious tone in our voice, we may buy our Teflon suits from the same tailor, have the same camera shy media reclusive style and have the same school boy hairstyle, but Peter doesn’t speak for me.

My support of John Howard is clear cut, I love his policies on Terrorism, Aborigines, Logging and the Murray Darling.

I’m truly unique in politics in that I can be an environmentalist who supports logging, a free market man who supports price regulation, a unionist who supports banning Trade Union leaders, a John Howard supporter and detractor, a man of action who loves consensus and a change agent who has no policies.

I'm your man.......or woman, Gotta run