What the World needs now is Rudd, Sweet Rudd!

I often wonder if I’m really a Labor man. I can’t stand Trade Unionists, smelly, grubby and uneducated. You know I’ve never met one of them who can speak Mandarin or has ever heard of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

I only ever entered politics for the power trip and an audience. With my superior intellect I figured I’d have more chance of leading the Labor Party than any other.

What’s happened in NSW only confirms my view of the Labor Party. It’s full of morons, too primitive to engage in the reality of today. Hanging on to their outdated Socialist ideals, using bullying and intimidation as their tools of trade and trying to run the policies of the Party they control financially.

Wake up boys, the Tree of Knowledge has been replaced by KEVIN07.

I’m way too smart for these Working Family types! Unfortunately they also vote. You tell them what they want to hear, give them a sympathetic ear. I feel your pain - but not your hand. Paint a false dawn for them, take their money and their brightest Union Leaders (an oxymoron, I know) and then do what you want.

Who really believes that rubbish they trumpet?

The Labor Party would be a much better place if it didn’t have Labor members.

Anyway it’s all about me now. The punters voted for a visionary, a man who walks both sides of every issue, a man not frighten to say he wasn’t briefed on that tough issue or to rationalise a backflip. In fact, one of the most flexible Politicians in the free World. A Leader already hailed in Times Top 100 Most Influential. KEVIN07! And all I had to do was say Sorry! I think that will be my Mantra – Sorry.

Sorry I don’t know about that! Sorry I can’t comment! Sorry, my staff got it wrong! Sorry, I feel your pain! Sorry, I’ll personally fix that! Sorry, it was the previous governments fault!

I'll do it my way!

By taking the "us" out of Caucus and putting the "i" in to Team, I have left no doubt it's my government and my country.

It's Kevin 07 not Labor 07!

Given the group of Union hacks and ABC celebrities that will make up Caucus once I've won, what choice have I got?

I'm also announcing exclusively here my new fiscal policy.

Given inflation will be out of control and the Unions, led by Julia and Greg Combet, will take control of wages again, I'm printing a $1000 note. It's got me on one side and Dietrich Bonhoeffer on the other. I expect it to replace the 5 cent price by my second year in office.

Kevin 07....made in Heaven

My popularity hasn't been this high since I spilled gravy over myself to get the neighbours dog to lick me! I'm your man, I can't even believe it myself - Kevin 07 PM, leader of the free world.

To add to my online presence for all those who can't get enough of the Ruddmeister, I've now got Kevin 07. It's a hip, funky, groovy way for my adoring public to get even more of me and see how few policies I've really got.

Fair dinkum, I'm a bigger online tart than Paris Hilton.

Gotta run