I'm having a whale of a time big noting myself!

I made much of anti whaling talk prior to the election. Talk of International Court prosecutions and sending the military down to sort Japanese whalers out.

Peter Garrett got a bit carried away again, "You don't have to harpoon them to find out important scientific information about them,""It's cruel, it's barbaric and it's unnecessary."

He added: "Fifteen minutes of agonising death at the hands of a harpooner is no way to treat these beautiful and regal creatures."

I wasn't elected to actually do anything was I? Anyway after weeks of Japanese whaling and Garrett and the bloody media carrying on I sent a non military option down to monitor the Japanese. A few home movies and a nice piece on Sunrise.

Upon finally going to Japan I understood that whaling was merely a disagreement amoungst friends!

Roll on 2008 Whaling season and we have to give up. No monitoring, No support of those wanting to stop it, No upsetting our good mates Japan! I'm a man of the globe and I love those little Japanese - they have big voting rights at the UN.

It was good enough to get us elected but not worth ruining my chance to be UN Secretary General.

My 360 seconds of fame!

6 minutes, or 360 seconds in front of 8 of the World's most powerful people at the G8! Weren't they lucky.

Ironic isn't it, I jump on an old airforce jet spewing carbon over the Pacific as I head to Japan to speak for 360 seconds on the urgency of Climate Change?

Anyway, as the World's self proclaimed pre-eminent Mandarin Speaking Politician I had the stage I wanted and I lectured to those 8 leaders as if they were backbenchers from the Central Coast.

Why not have a Global Petrol Commissioner? Why not make Fuel Watch global? These hard decisions cost me the Gippsland by-election but I firmly believe the world will be better for them.

Ban Ki-moon rang the bell as I got started on Grocery prices, my friend George missed it all as he'd raced to the men's room. I had no idea Japanese PM Fukuda spoke English as he took his earpiece out.

I think it went well, my proposal for a RUDD9 economic group got a great reaction.

Another problem solved thanks to K-RUDD, surely a Nobel prize is on the radar.

Japan I'm finally here to help you!

Well I’m off again. This time its Japan and Indonesia receiving a dose of Rudd. I honestly believe that my mandate is to help civilise the world as well as to rebuild Australia.

What’s my answer to soaring petrol prices and angst over carbon emissions and trading? Jump on a fuel guzzling, carbon emitting jet and sweep across the region. The hypocrisy has become part of me, I think it’s defined my reign to date.

If I can help my Asian mates fix their countries prior to them joining me in the AU in 2020 then all the better for us as citizens of Austasia and for me as its 2020 President. I’ll only take the role if I’m not UN Secretary General. I expect it will be a difficult choice but I may even do both.

You know I recently described myself as the World’s Pre-eminent Mandarin Speaking Politician. ‘What about President HU?’ they said. Frankly I rate myself higher than HU. Hu would never have defeated John Howard in the last election and I honestly doubt he’d have even assumed the Leadership of the ALP.

I must also express my disappointment at Australia’s best and brightest. The 2020 Summit failed to come up with the AU concept and missed FuelWatch.

I’m already questioning the Summit’s recommendations apart from their endorsement of my Super Child Care centres. I said to Therese I may have to lock away a weekend soon and have my own 2020 Summit. I’m sure the world will be the better for it.

Screw the Whales - Save the Japanese

We love our sushi Therese and I and we've found the best Sushi in Canberra already. The Japanese ambassador's wife makes the meanest Sushi this side of Yokahama.

I said I'd lay off the whales if she made me her special sushi. The Ambassador says they're catching the meat now, it comes in very cold and Mrs. Ambassador cooks it just right.

Should be here in a month.Can't for the life of me think what it could be....buffalo maybe!